Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
