Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
