He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
