i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
