I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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