To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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