I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm bleeding and have questions
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
