It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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