and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
