So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
