Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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