totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I fill condoms, not promises.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
