Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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