i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
