I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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