So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
