Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
