two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
