I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize