What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
