my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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