he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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