Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
