my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i just wanna soil my oats bro
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
