Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
