Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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