Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
