he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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