we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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