I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
