Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He did a backflip because drugs
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