so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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