He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
