I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize