I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
