is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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