There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
