All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
it's like heaven, but drunker
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
