it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize