the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You took a bar mat shot.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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