Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
