well I can't set my house on fire every night
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have tasted many bathrooms
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
