I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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