Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
