I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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