is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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