i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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