508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
