You're so nebulous sometimes
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
