my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
