end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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