He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
