nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
