I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
