she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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