Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
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