Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
