Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
