i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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