Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
my being single is dangerous.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
