420 ftw
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
