everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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