Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
