Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
