you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
