ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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