1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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