She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Ketchup is God's man juice
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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